I can't believe it's almost been nine months since I last posted here. Life was fairly smooth there for a time; not very many bumps in the road. That came to a screeching halt on 11/20/08. We are now statistics of the economic slowdown. My hubman was laid off - now we have no insurance or income. All the paperwork has been filed for unemployment and SSI, so we're just waiting for that first check to come. It was so kind of his employer to do this right before the holidays - at least they waited until he was able to collect SSI.
Scared? Yeah. I finally got to the point where my meds were keeping me on the right track and now... I don't know what to do. All I know is - tomorrow is our 30th anniversary, we love each other and God is in control. That will do for now!
Monday, December 1, 2008
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I came across your blog by accident (if you believe in accidents). I believe I was led to you. I do not know where you are tonight (December 21, 2008, almost December 22nd), but for whatever reason, God led me to your blog. You are an amazingly talented writer with a tremendous gift for allowing the reader to visualize your space and be in touch with deep feelings that many of us totally ignore. Having struggled with depression my entire life, I have compassion for those who suffer with this. (I find it interesting that we appear to be the same age.) Depression is not a choice, as so many would have you believe. It is a constant companion, an unwelcome house guest, if you will. It is tolerated because it will not leave except for brief periods of welcome respite, and then often comes back with a scream of defiance and a heaviness that defies description. However, God has blessed me anyway, allowing me to use my gifts of art, music and writing to bless others. My husband lost his job in 2008, leaving me the sole wage earner. He is now disabled, yet we cannot get disability to approve any assistance. I say this because I want you to know that I understand how difficult it is when you have been broken in so many areas and then are hit with a crushing financial blow. My only hope is in God and prayer. I want you to know that as I read your blogs, I was more struck with the beauty that you were able to construct, not only visually on your "site", but in the eloquence of your words which gave voice to the depths of your soul. Somehow, it has helped me and I reach out to you, hoping that just knowing someone you have never met is touched by your words, your plight and your honesty and you will find encouragement in that. I wish you blessings upon blessings and pray for release from this oppression which has taken up residence and refuses to pay rent. I just want to say that I think you truly DO possess AMAZING GRACE. There is a mountain top experience in you near future, I truly believe.
I have never before written a blog nor entered a comment. In fact, I had to open an account just to contact you.
I would love to know if this provides any solace or encouragement to you and how you are doing from time to time.
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